Megan’s story

This pregnancy was a very wished for and wanted pregnancy, after two losses. Our most recent loss was at 13.5 weeks on December 4th 2021 - we conceived immediately after which is where this all starts.

On the 7th of January 2022 I vomited. A positive pregnancy test confirmed my suspicion and alongside our joy and fear, sickness set in. I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum midway through Feb after loosing 19kgs in 6 weeks. I spent most of my pregnancy in hospital and ultimately ended up with a PICC line in order to be fed. A PICC line runs through veins from your bicep all the way to your heart- where nutrients/medication etc can be pumped around your body. I was unable to eat anything at this stage so was fed total parental nutrition (TPN) each day through my PICC. I was also given medication every two hours through this line- day and night. I was eventually able to come home on my PICC line and taught to manage administration of TPN and medication myself. 

On Monday 22nd August (35+4) I presented at our local ED after one of the lines (there were two) that made up my PICC line split - meaning everything I put through it just spilt out onto my skin. It was the line I would normally use for medication. Upon presentation there wasn't room to see me in theatre until Thursday so we made a plan for me to just use the one line in the meantime - a bit of a hassle because it meant disconnecting my 12-hour feed every 2 hours in order to administer medication but it was only temporary so no biggie. On this day I started to lose my mucous plug. I text one of my midwives to see if she could check me out as I had light cramping too, but I was reassured it was normal and nothing to worry about. I had a history of preterm birth with my son being born at 32w but was comfortable that I was okay to go home. 

The following day discharge continued and the light cramps popped up sporadically. That night upon connecting my TPN feeding I noticed pain in my neck, accompanied by a loud whooshing noise. I pushed through for a while, but eventually had to disconnect the feed as it was just too painful. I administered medication at around midnight through the same line and felt excruciating pain in my neck - this time it didn’t let up at all. I decided to present to ED again first thing. 

5.30am Wednesday 24th August I presented to ED. Pain in neck, severe vomiting worsened by lack of medication due to no vein access. I was brushed off by the triage nurse who told me that 'everyone gets over it at this stage of pregnancy' but that she would get some anti-nausea meds for me. When she realised there was no way I could keep oral meds down (I was consistently vomiting blood) she reluctantly got a nurse to put a line in my arm. After four attempts (I was severely dehydrated by this stage) the nurse got access. I communicated that cyclizine (the medication I needed) cannot be given neat as my veins can't withstand it. She assured me it would be diluted. Upon administering it, I knew a mistake had been made. Sure enough the medication was neat and my vein promptly collapsed. This is extremely painful. It would be safe to say I was agitated and frustrated at this point. They were pressuring me to go to a pre-organised growth scan at 10am, I still hadn't seen a doctor/obstetrician despite asking many times, and the pain in my neck was 10/10. This was accompanied by worsening tightening in my belly.

I was told to leave my things in the cubicle, go to my scan and on return I would see a doctor 'if I insist'. I was in tears but went to the scan - baby was looking beautiful and happy. When the orderly returned me to my bedspace, the cubicle was occupied by someone else. I saw my bag/jacket on the floor by a wall so the orderly left me there in the chair. I 'lost it' at this stage. Tears took over as I was wracked with waves of nausea and pain.

The nurse finally approached me and said the maternity day assessment unit have kindly agreed to see me at 1pm. Once arriving on Queen Mary I was greeted by the obstetrician. Without letting me get a word in she said "just before you say anything, I want you to know we wont be expediting your pregnancy. I know that’s what you're after, but it’s not happening". I was shell shocked. My midwife was there at this stage too. Both the obstetrician and midwife expressed concerns for my mental health at this stage (justified, I was a mess) and requested that I be admitted until next week when my induction was booked. I spoke to my partner and agreed to stay one night. It was at this stage that I said to my midwife I was feeling really hot, and felt 'off'. The obstetrician said it was likely my anxiety. My midwife requested my obs and soon realised not one set of obs had been taken since I arrived over 8 hours ago. I had gained a spot in emergency theatre at 2pm which the orderly had arrived to take me to so she passed on that I need obs done upon arrival. 

I arrived in theatre and found an IV nurse there who had been checking in with me over the course of the day. She had been very concerned about my symptoms and had recognised that the PICC line had relocated. She listened when I told her how bad my pain was and insisted that a specialist was to see me in theatre to take a look at me. For the first time since I arrived, I felt heard. The specialist took one look at me and grabbed the ultrasound machine. When he scanned my neck he discovered that not only had my PICC moved but I had developed a clot at the end of it. All of this was happening in my Jugular. It was at this stage I recall feeling extremely cold. While one nurse bought me blankets another did my obs. This was all happening at the same time as the doctor getting vein access in order to get blood thinners on board urgently. It didn't take long for symptoms of a fever to kick in and sure enough my temperature and heart rate were through the roof, my blood pressure not far behind it. I felt so incredibly sick, the tummy tightening's were worsening and I was having dizzy spells. I remember begging the medical team to please get my baby out of me, just get her out something was wrong. 

I had sepsis and the infection had taken over. I drifted in and out of consciousness and eventually it all got too much for my heart and it stopped. I was resuscitated and the emergency medical team was called in to take over. The emergency obstetrician was called and sure enough I was in labour.  While I lay unconscious there were life preserving measures undertaken in order to keep both baby and I here. This included intubation, high doses of antibiotics, blood thinners and steroids. My partner was called and asked to get in as fast as he could. While he was driving he was asked who should be saved if they had to make that decision - his daughter or his fiancé. He was asked permission for blood transfusions, permission for emergency hysterectomy should I need one and asked to make decisions around medications, sedations and surgeries.  My mum (at the other end of the country) was called to be at my bedside and told it was critical. 

The medical team made the decision to hold off on an emergency C Section as long as they could, in the hopes I could fight off a bit more of the infection before they operated. If they were to operate immediately the chances are I would not survive - my body was just too weak. I was transferred to ICU while they treated me, fully prepped for surgery at any given minute. I don't have a good recollection of this time but I vividly recall waking up in ICU briefly. They pulled my oxygen mask off and I was begging them to make the burning stop. My whole body felt as though I had acid running through my veins. My skin was tight and hot, with every movement I was in agony. There was movement though, as they rolled and rotated my body to change the bedding underneath me every 15 minutes. It was saturated repeatedly -  I later learned this was me experiencing a 'septic shower'. When your body is dumping the infection - it was literally dripping out of my pores.

What my body was going through is something I can't find the words to describe. It was agonising. I drifted in and out of consciousness until early morning when they deemed it time to get baby out. My partner was to sign all the paperwork which gave permission for me to be put under general anaesthetic and baby to be delivered urgently. I remember going down the hallway to theatre unable to speak. I was so overwhelmed and in that moment I didn't know how I could survive - I didn't even know that I WANTED to survive. I wanted the pain to stop. I remember the anaesthetist asking me what kind of music I wanted to listen to, and me desperately asking where my midwife was. She and my student midwife were there to support me as my partner wasn't allowed in theatre. 

I remember being warned that when they put you under someone holds a bit of pressure on your throat - I think this is to stop you swallowing your tongue? I can still feel that sensation to this day. I felt like I was choking, the tears were hot on my cheeks. I recall waking up paralysed. Most people don’t remember this part and the medication used to reverse the paralysis has normally worked by the time you wake up - not for me. I was so so scared. After that I am blank until I woke up in intensive care hours later.

My baby girl was born a very healthy 6lb 12oz in the early hours of the 15th August 2022. She was in NICU being looked after by her dad who had been called to meet her just over an hour after I went into theatre - despite it only taking minutes for her to arrive after knife to skin. She needed a bit of assistance and spent some time warming up with the midwives before being transferred to NICU. 

She was bought up to meet me that afternoon - I don't remember this but I have photos. Seeing her was all the motivation I needed to recover and I spent every waking moment from then forward doing everything I could to be allowed to be with my baby.

Two days later we were able to be on the same ward where we spent time making up for those first two days apart and worked really hard to establish breastfeeding. One week later, we were discharged. 

Our healing journey is really up and down. Physically we are both great. She is now 4.5 months and thriving, our breastfeeding journey although tricky at times has been successful and she is still exclusively BF.  Mentally I'm just staring my healing journey. Thank you for holding the space for me to share my story.