Can breastfeeding ever feel so good that it’s bad?

We often hear people saying that breastfeeding is painful, uncomfortable or just plain makes them feel touched out – and all of those things can be true for some people. But have you ever heard that breastfeeding feels so good it causes feelings of arousal? Probably not, because most people never talk about it.

Why do these feelings happen?
It’s not because of sexual attraction, so what is it?

If we look at the hormones produced while breastfeeding it might help to explain why these feelings happen.

When a baby breastfeeds, prolactin and oxytocin are released. Oxytocin is also released in large quantities during childbirth to help the uterus contract, and is often called the hormone of love, trust or affection. Prolactin stimulates milk production and promotes feelings of bonding or connection – often called the mothering hormone, it also makes the breastfeeding parent feel relaxed and sleepy.

Varying levels of oxytocin are released when hugging, touching and during orgasm. And prolactin may also increase during sex or when non-breastfeeding nipple stimulation takes place. When this is understood it’s easy to see why breastfeeding might create similar feelings of arousal. It absolutely does not mean that the breastfeeding parent feels sexual desire for their child, but it does mean all those hormones are working correctly!

Conversely, during orgasm, it’s not usual for breasts to shoot milk. When oxytocin is released into the bloodstream it can cause milk ejection. It can happen during breastfeeding and orgasm – this is not something that can consciously be controlled.

It's understandable that parents would feel embarrassed or “bad” for feeling this kind of pleasure during breastfeeding. No-one ever tells you that it might feel this way! But if you are struggling with feelings of guilt or shame over this, speak to your GP or a mental health professional, or seek out the support of a sympathetic breastfeeding specialist or lactation consultant.

It’s not your fault, you are NOT a bad person.

The simple fact is that the same hormones and parts of the body that are involved in breastfeeding and childbirth, are also involved in arousal, which means it’s completely feasible that someone can experience (and enjoy) arousal during childbirth or breastfeeding.